It’s amazing how much something that you hear can make an impact on the way you feel. I remember when music used to be my MAIN inspiration for everything (It still inspires me greatly). If I heard a song during a time of sadness then I would be reminded of that time of sadness every time I heard that song. For example, the first time that I really felt emotion for a song was when I heard the song, “Redeemer,” by Nicole C. Mullen. She could belt notes so powerfully that it would make you want to cry in an instant.
I remember it as if it were yesterday. My mom and I were sitting in the car waiting for my brother when “Redeemer” came on and I remember not being able to say one word during the song because I was so mesmerized by it. I knew that I wanted to be an inspiration as well. So I practiced and practiced until my vocal chords were all worn out; I basically sounded like Kermit the Frog.
I ended up singing, “Redeemer,” at my eighth grade graduation as well as my senior year of high school. It was my favorite song… to sing and to listen to. It was one of those songs that made my heart skip and my energy surge.
After high school, the Fresno State choir director called me and left a message that inquired me to continue choir at the collegiate level. However, I was no longer interested in choir; I felt that it was something that reminded me of my past, which I no longer wanted to be a part of. It was not because I was a bad person; I have just always been big on enhancing myself. For example, when I feel that I have been too much of something for too long, I always feel the need to move on and expand my knowledge.
What’s wrong with that? Well there is a long list of things wrong with that-- in my opinion. I guess that when something becomes attainable, I feel the need to add more of a challenge to it. Consistency is my enemy, meaning that once I feel comfortable, there is a need for change.
Then, the thought of change comes about. Why is there always a need for change once everything feels comfortable? It almost seems that comfort is code for fear; fear of the unknown. I can’t help but to wonder what the fear of the unknown is.
The unknown is something that is undefined. It is like feeling an unexplainable itch, which makes you want to figure out the culprit even more only to find out that the unidentified itch is a spider, which happens to be the only phobia you have. I can only wonder if it is the destiny of one to become fearful of everything unknown. Sometimes discovering the unknown, reveals the greatest secrets about oneself. Take a chance once in a while! I think it will surprise you.